I Have No Idea.

I said to myself “I’ll just spend 15 minutes on Tumblr.” That turned into 30 which turned onto 45 minutes which turned into “Dammit, if I don’t get in the shower right now I’m going to be late for work.”

I thought I was over him.

I think it’s just because I’ve been so lonely, so utterly and completely alone these last two weeks, but when I lie in my bed I can’t help but miss him, need him, need someone.

I miss his fingers in my hair. I miss the way he would wrap his arms around me then softly kiss my shoulder before he fell asleep. I miss waiting for the sound of his even breathing eventually turning into a soft snore before I could fall asleep.

When I lie in my empty bed, it just reminds of how completely alone I am.

But then I remember how wrong he was for me, how bad he was for me. I remember all the times that he lied to me, that he hurt me, all the times he made me cry.

And I realize I’m not better off alone, but I am better without him.

aerissa:

Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love, but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear - fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection, even if it kills them slowly within.

(via)

Just coloring my hair so when next weekend rolls around, and I still have nothing to do, at least I won’t have any gray.

but I’m not sure if I really want out of it.

During the last three weeks I basicly only got out of bed to go to work. In that time I lost 11 pounds. This round of depression has been my most successful diet to date.

Really, just don’t.

therealjenscifi:

woeismeh I’m having a beer for you, well my kitty is having a beer for you.

Unfortunately, I’m headed to work and will have to catch up with the rest of my birthday love later tonight. Thank you everyone.